A well-crafted estate plan addresses more than just your major assets, like real estate, corporate interests, and investment accounts. It can also encompass personal effects with both sentimental and financial value. Often, these items carry deep emotional significance and can also be the focal point of disagreement among loved ones, regardless of their monetary value. One practical tool to guide the distribution of these items, and potentially avoid these disagreements, is a letter of wishes.
What is a letter of wishes?
A letter of wishes is an informal written document used in estate planning to provide guidance to your executors and family members on various matters including how to distribute personal effects, such as artwork, jewelry, fine silver, china, other collectibles and family heirlooms.
Unlike a will, a letter of wishes is not legally binding. However, when thoughtfully prepared and coordinated with the will, a letter of wishes can be highly useful in discerning and carrying out a deceased person’s intentions.
Why use a letter of wishes in your estate plan?
One key benefit of a letter of wishes is its flexibility. It can be updated easily to reflect new acquisitions (for example, an addition to an art collection, or an inherited piece of jewelry) or changing preferences. In contrast, a will is a formal instrument that can be cumbersome and costly to amend for minor changes, such as those relating to specific personal items.
A letter of wishes can also provide clarity to executors and beneficiaries. It can set out the reasoning behind particular gifts, such as family tradition, a beneficiary’s special connection to an item, or fairness among beneficiaries, and as a result, minimize misunderstandings and reduce the chance of any potential conflict.
Further, when executors and family members have a clear roadmap for dividing personal effects, with detailed descriptions or even photographs of the items, the risk of delay, confusion or inconsistency is reduced. If your plan is to sell or donate certain items, for example an art collection, letters of wishes can also include suggestions for appraisal companies and auction houses to assist with cataloguing and valuating the items, providing guidance to executors and family members who may not otherwise be familiar with the proper steps to take.
Best practices for letters of wishes
To make the most of a letter of wishes, consider these best practices:
- Be consistent with your will. If there are any contradictions, it is the will that ultimately governs. Have your lawyer review your draft letter of wishes to ensure it is in good order and does not create any legal issues, and state clearly that it is non-binding, intended to assist your executors, and does not replace or revoke your will.
- Be specific and unambiguous. Items should be identified and described clearly so there are no misunderstandings about which items are listed. For example, instead of vague terms like “my gold ring”, use “my 14k gold band engraved with ‘J&S 1969’”. Photographs can also be included for further clarity.
- If prudent, explain your rationale. Even a brief explanation can be invaluable to family members who may not otherwise understand your decision.
- Keep it current. Review your letter of wishes regularly and update it after significant life events, such as major acquisitions, divestitures, or relationship changes.
- Date, store, and share it appropriately. Your letter of wishes should be stored with your estate documents where your executors and family members know to find it. By signing and dating it, you can also ensure they know that they are looking at the most recent version.
While not enforceable like a will, a letter of wishes often carries substantial moral influence. By complementing your will with a practical letter of wishes for personal effects, you can reduce the likelihood of family disputes and help ensure your treasured items end up where you intend.
Further Reading
The Many and Varied Uses of Letters of Wishes in Your Estate Plan – July 16, 2016
A Letter of Wishes: When Your Trustee is Also a Genie – August 30, 2022
How to Deal with Personal Effects to Prevent Family Fights – April 18, 2023
A Guide on Gifting to Grandchildren – April 1, 2025
— Aleida Prinzen